Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Testimony 8: Spiritual Melee

Chapter 8

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
(Ephesians 6:12)

For six months, a war was being waged for my soul. The parties never ended and now I wasn’t just one of the boys, I was leading them. I had become one of those party animals the younger guys look up to. But I knew I was heading down the road of destruction. I also had a continuous sense that God was trying to reach out to me. I would even talk about spiritual things in my drunken and drug induced stupors. I was plagued with mixed emotions in my schizophrenic spirituality, overwhelming feelings of both guilt and mercy.
In December of 1979, we were the Ranger Ready Force while the 1st Ranger Battalion took Christmas leave. We were angry because we wouldn’t be going home for the holidays. But we were determined to have a “good time” anyway. On the night of the 22nd, we had a huge party at the “The House.” It was a sleepless night and much of my time was spent in a lonely corner thinking about Satan and God, Hell and Heaven. I was in a spiritual melee and the winner would own my soul. I remember as the sun was coming up the next morning, I was exhausted from the spiritual fight. Resolve and surrender were dawning in my heart. I could no longer live a life of lies.
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